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Among the items detailed in the police report as stolen are several pairs of "No Nonsense Ahh, Said the Foot" brand socks (?), a Clio Pixie brand bikini shaver and a Trojan Twister brand vibrator. Ahem. One of the Trojan Twister's features, , are "an elegant satin pouch for discreet storage."

A second cop, Officer Michael Fretz, reported that, “I looked into the trash can and saw a Trojan Vibrating Twister in the garbage can.” that when he placed Green into a squad car, “the suspect stated that the only reason he took the vibrator was because he and his wife were having marital issues.”

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A second cop, Officer Michael Fretz, reported that, “I looked into the trash can and saw a Trojan Vibrating Twister in the garbage can.” that when he placed Green into a squad car, “the suspect stated that the only reason he took the vibrator was because he and his wife were having marital issues.”